Are you there yet?
“Uncle. That’s all you have to say. Are you ready to give in?” my brother chided as he pinned me to the floor. Wrestling with an older brother never did get me anywhere! That was a lesson I learned as a young child. As a grown woman I learned that lesson in a different way.
I fought alcoholism for years without getting help. I was convinced I could do it on my own. “If only I tried harder or tried some other strategy I could stop,” I reasoned. But addiction doesn’t work that way. Addiction loves isolation. As a matter of fact, it thrives in isolation. The more isolated we become, the more hopeless our situation appears.
We need to get to a place of surrender.
Surrendering can be an incredibly freeing experience that leads to a much happier life, but it’s not easy. Why? Because surrendering requires we admit we can’t do it alone. It requires we open ourselves up to others and allow others to see our whole selves. We ask for help. We let other people into our life.
When I realized there were people who wanted to help and by helping benefited in their own sober journey, it became more palatable. Although it still took time for me to get used to someone helping without wanting something in return. I continually asked my sponsor if I was bothering her and thanked her profusely for giving of herself and her time without any payment. Now, after six years sobriety, I realize how much of an honor it is to help others.
How about you? Are you willing to surrender? Are you willing to get the help you need to change? I was finally ready when I realized “I want what I could be- rather than more years of what has been.”